Monday, December 17, 2012

They Wonder

They wonder why she sits in her room all day with her headphones in, go on walks by herself, or stay at her bf's house or out with him all day. She doesn't see why she would ever do that. Oh wait, yes she does. Maybe because she hasn't heard a praising word out of any of their mouths since who knows when. The last time she can remember either of her parents telling her that they were proud of her, or anything like that, was in the fifth grade. They wonder why if she hates living here hasn't she moved out yet because they could care less. If she had the money to move out and away with no contact for the rest of her life, just start over somewhere far away as a new person, she would. They wonder why she went by a different name when they first moved here. Maybe because she didn't want to be who she was, or apart of the family that she was apart of. She doesn't understand how a mother could threaten to beat her daughter and then say if her daughter called the CPS it would be a wonderful break from her to be in jail. How can you tell your daughter that you could care less if she moved out and you wouldn't ever help her out. Not only to have her parents pick on her, but her little brother picks on her too because they don't do anything about it. They comment on how much weight she gains, how she'll never do well in school or in the real world. How she'd never graduate high school. You even asked her if she wanted to drop out because you didn't want to waste your money on her anymore. You tell her she's a selfish brat because she complains about the private school that's so expensive. It's paid for by you with her college tuition money, her saves money, and you forced her to go there with people that absolutely despised her and outcasted her all four years of high school. She';; never show emotion, or cry in front of you because she feels like she has to be better than that, she can't let you win. She can't let you see her break down. They think that because they buy things for her it makes her owe them that respect even when they don't respect her. She feels like the invisible daughter just getting a "That's nice." when she gets As and Bs when her brother gets to go out to eat and gets money and praise when he gets A's. Even when she was his age and was getting better in school after getting her meds, you never praised her like that. I guess I still do have something to vent and write about. I guess it wasn't just my peers that were causing me to be depressed, I guess it was my home life too. It's not enough for me to hear I love you and not believe it....Love Audi.....(Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars-Safe and Sound).

Thursday, December 13, 2012

So. The sitch?

Here's the thing. This is my blog. Yes I know what I say on here may be judgmental  but honestly I really don't care what you think. This is my vent space and YOU don't have to read it. It's not like once your on an internet page you can't click the little red X in the corner and make this page magically disappear. It smells like the doctor's in this FLC hallway. I went and saw Red Dawn today. Awesome movie, new and old. They've made me realize that I have been avoiding this deathly fear and nightmares that I have been having where America is so bankrupt that everyone who can invades us and we all die off. This is the reason why I want to move away. I don't know about all of you, but I am legit scared to be living here. I feel like I won't be alive for much longer. To all of you who have access to my blog, I love you. If we do get invaded on 12/21/12 and that's why the world ends, I'm fighting. I won't give up that easily. I want to live and I want my family and everyone else to live too. Start collecting weapons now. Join my group of fighters. Go Wolverines! We will prevail in times of hardship. Well I just had a mini heart attack. Something made a loud noise and then my little brother was calling for my mom. I better go see what's going on. Love Audi <3

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Ralization

Once I left high school and all the people that I didn't like there behind me, there wasn't really anything to vlog or vent about anymore. There was no drama, no people that I hate, nothing. Once I graduated and got away, the bloging and vloging became less and less frequent. It was like I fell off the face of the earth. I became calm and relaxed like I wasn't carrying the whole world on my shoulders anymore. It sounds wrong, but it was a huge relief to not have to try so hard to impress my peers and fit in. I can finally rest my head and know for sure that there aren't any demons hiding in the people I know waiting for the perfect moment to pop out. I have cut down my facebook friends from 700 to 147. I don't even really use it anymore, or any other  social network anymore. Honestly, it makes me feel free. For once in my life I feel like I can breath, and maybe even trust again. It was eye opening how much people can hold you back with out you even noticing it. Love Audi <3

Monday, November 26, 2012

Starting Over..

I've decided that I need to start over. Not only do I need a new attitude, but I need a new look, a new set of friends, new hobbies, new everything. I want change. I'm so tired of people treating me the way that they do and I'm tire of the way everyone treats one another. I want to change myself for the better and change the world. I want to start my life over and be happier than I've ever been. I'm going back to blonde, all natural. I'm buying less expensive makeup. I'm dressing in my own crazy way and not following the trends anymore. I've been listening to pumped up songs lately, I've been eating healthier and being myself with my high self-esteem and everything and honestly I'm starting to feel like I can do anything. I don't care what anyone else thinks and all I want to do is sing and do what I love to do. People can't control me anymore. I am beautiful and I am proud of myself and that's all that really matters. My curly hair, my bows, my Disney sweaters and shirts, my obsessions, my embarrassing actions, deal with it. I've been inspired by Ariana Grande, Christina Aguilera, and Mariah Carey. My idols tell me that I need to stay true to myself no matter what. If I love myself others will love me and if they don't FUCK THEM. :) Love Audi <3

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Anne Regan

Hey you, I miss you like fucking crazy. I'll have to come to Reno sometime to visit. Or when you come here to visit family, I can come see you in Fair Oaks. College is so different compared to Waldorf. It's like no one here likes to talk to each other or get to know one another. Although it could be because we aren't in dorms and most people have come to this school from a bigger school with people they know. I feel like our class completely fell apart after graduation except for facebook and such. We went to totally different places, all pretty far from each other. I think Ari is in my district though you, him, and Savannah are the only people I have really kept in contact with. Come HOME! <3 Love Audi

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

For Joe and all those other BITCHES

Girls are so damn that right? I mean look at the guys? Why you gotta be such a bitch? You have a problem with all my other friends being guys? That's because girls like you are fucking bitches. I mean really you want me to trust you after all the shit you've put me through? Fuck that, you're so not worth it. Who do you think you are? You don't control anyone. You can't turn any of my real friends that I trust on me. But you know what? I can turn them on you and you know why that is? It's because they are lying fucking bitches that love drama, not real friends. You'll see. You'll be sorry you ever lost me as a friend because I don't make a very good enemy douche. Don't say your sorry because I don't care. Your already on my bad side and there's nothing you can do to fix that anymore. <3 With Love, Audi

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

You chose #3

You search through your pockets and the small bag that you have with you, but your phone isn't there. Neither is your wallet, money, or license. There isn't a phone in the hotel room and you obviously can't call through a pay phone because you don't have any money. You decide to go looking on the street for some change. You search all over the side walks and eventually fine two dollars worth of change. You look around for a pay phone, but can't find one. You attempt to ask someone on the street but none of them understand you and all they do is nervously blabber some weird harsh language back at you. Your all alone. Your only friend would have been the young man that had tried to help you, but you turned him down. You walk helplessly back to the hotel unsure of what to do with yourself now. You walk into the front office and hand the cash to the lady begging to use her phone. She finally understands the gist of what your trying to ask, and hands over the office telephone. First you call your house and there's no answer. You leave a long message, but unsure of where you are you can't really tell them anything useful. You don't want to say too much about what has happened to you and put their lives in danger too. Then you try calling the emergency number that's listed on the phone, but again they don't understand a word your saying. Tired and hungry you set off to find a place to eat. Do you....
1) Eat and then try to find your way to the nearest airport.
2) Eat, stay and rest in the nice hotel room for a while and plan out your trip home.

Monday, September 10, 2012

So you chose 1

You say thanks but no thanks to the nice gentleman feeling a little scared. He looks at you confused and tries once more thinking that maybe you hadn't heard him correctly. He was offering to you help you to a hospital. You reject him again, and he begins to look a little scared and warns you not to talk to anyone else and get out as fast as you can. He then turns away and runs, never looking back. You think he's crazy, and aren't sure what to think about his last comment. You slowly lift yourself despite the searing pain and limp to a near by motel. The signs are in some other language that you don't recognize, but after some serious trouble you end up getting a room. You then are faced with a tough decision. Do you....
1) Try to get to the nearest drug store for some much needed medication and supplies.
2) Rest for a while, sleep  a little, and wait till morning to get the job done.
3) Try to call for help, contact family or friends.

Sunday, September 9, 2012


Your cold, and hungry. It's really dark out and after that deep sleep your pupils haven't really dilated yet. You try to look around you because that smell is defiantly NOT the smell of the safe warm house you live in with your husband and toddler Drew. Once your pupils adjust themselves it's almost as if someone switched on the lights. There's neon signs everywhere. Your in the wet curb of some city street and everyone is walking past you as if your a dirty whore. You glare back at them knowing that you have nothing to loose. You slowly try to raise yourself from the ground, but there is a sharp pain in your lower back and you fall straight back to the curb. It's been a month since you last saw your family. This journey began only a month ago and it seems like forever. Suddenly someone taps you on the shoulder. Instinctively, after all you've been through, you turn around and smack whoever it is straight in the nose. It's a young man and he's now bleeding quite a bit. He apologizes and offers to help you up and get you to a doctor. Do you.....
1) Ignore the young man and try to fend for yourself?
2) Agree to let the young man help you to the much needed medical care?

Monday, August 27, 2012

First day of college

It's over. I only had one class and it was easy. The only problem was that I did make a friend, but she was on the waiting list. I almost all the people in the class showed up, so I'm guessing I wont see her again. I think that I was so stressed out that I totally can't think of anything to write so maybe I'll Vlog later. Peace <3 Audi

Sunday, August 26, 2012


I am so anxious today. It is the day before the first day of school and I plan to pamper myself like no other so that I can look my best for college! I have so much to do today it's not even funny. I would type up my To Do list, but the full thing is written on my ipod which is syncing right now. Otherwise I don't think I'd remember everything that's written on there. I should add Blogging, Tweeting, Instagraming, Vloging, and Tumbling along with playing the sims. So yesterday I did start a vlog although I am hoping that no one I know finds it. It's really short and has nothing to do with anything I just wanted to see if I was comfortable with it. I decided that it was fun and that I can do that maybe not everyday but when I get the chance. Ill do all my shit tomorrow for sure but the Vloging I'm no so sure if I will get to that today. Tomorrow, for the first day of college, I only have one class. It's math and I'm not really looking forward to it, but David said that you don't really do much during the first week. This gave me the hope that I can make it through the week and my Tuesday and Thursday 7-7 all day class schedule. Well I just looked at my ipod and my stupid iTunes deleted all my games and social apps because it's retarded and now I'm pissed. I paid hella for most of those apps. If they aren't on my other computer I  am going to be pissed even more. Anyway I'll probably be blogging and such a lot more often, but you should check out my other site accounts. Love you <3 Audi

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Something you DONT talk about in public...

I got a giant teddy bear for free from goodwill because he has a HUGE hole in his back that's easily reparable. I decided that I would name him Baxter. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Stewie Griffin and Adam West? Because I do, oh so much. Love is something you should never hold your friends to because trust will never happen between the two of them. Videos take too long to upload on twitter. By the way friends I have a twitter and a tumblr now so you can add both of those accounts they are under the email or are called Audrrinna Love. Check me out I am so tech savy. Anyways I know I have given a lot more people the addresses to my other sites, but I intend to keep it at this minimum. I don't want everyone reading my dirty shit. <3 Audi

Friday, August 24, 2012

It's the End of the Night

The movie was ok. It was well put together, but I hated watching people get hit by cars so may times. It wasn't as excessive as the 20 min car chase in the new Bourne movie, but still it was a little much. I mean honesty, how many falls can one person take in a couple hours? I doubt it's that much. I have a bit of a stomach ache and idk what gave it to me but it's killer. I feel a little nauseous and it sucks but it's 2 in the morning and I just wanna sleep with out my parents coming to bug me saying, "Are you alright? Are you sure? Your lights on. We just wanted to make sure. To check on you. Your lights been on for a while. Do you need anything? You sure? Ok then." I feel sick... Night

Thursday, August 23, 2012


I think I might start a Vlog. It seems like fun, and the criticism will prepare me for the real world. In case you are someone like David who has no idea what a vlog is, it's a video blog. I love myself and all, but I am determined to loose about 40 lbs and I don't care if it takes two years, I am going to make it happen because I am not at all happy with the way I look. I am going into college and I need to start taking care of myself if I want to look good. I need to get thin quick and love myself. My boyfriend is such a dork talking about how much BUTT he kicks with his friends on Battlefield 3...whatever that is. I mean honestly what is it that kids play these days I'm still stuck on Crash Bandacoot, Spyro, Sims, and Rayman. I don't know if I have the guts to keep walking around at this weight. I don't feel healthy at all, and I am trying my best to fix that. My senior pictures kinda made me see how bad it's really gotten. I have gained two pant sizes in the past year and it's just not right. Not to be mean or anything but the whole gaining weight thing started when I started to date my bf. I know that no one really reads this and I wish that I could change that. I'm not really sure who I can trust anymore. It's hard to trust anyone. Maybe I'll send the link to just a small few. A good select group that I can trust the most. I should have never trusted anyone this past year...or since the 6th grade. After elementary school it all went down hill. I was never able to make the right friends, the good ones, or any at all. It was a huge issue for me and I am completely changing myself this year so that that changes. I need someone there that I can talk to. A girl friend not a guy this time. My past is simply lessons that have been learned and I plan to move on from that point. I fall for the same tricks but this year that wont happen. I will be very picky about who I choose to trust and if you are reading this blog right now that means that you are one of the few people that I would trust my life with. I love you guys. <3 till tomorrow...or later tonight after the midnight showing of premium rush.

What's Up With the World

I know it seems like a good idea. I know that you want to feel young again, and relate to your teenage children. I get it. You want to be the "cool mom," but that doesn't give you the right to go strutting around in your short shorts and everything low cut Abercrombie brand. Your daughter or son doesn't want to see you in that and neither does the rest of the world. Also, if you have fat rolls, which, I'll admit that I have, you cant wear tight shirts. It doesn't work that way. And PLEASE moms if your daughter is over 5 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT wear matching outfits. Guys, if you don't have a 6 pack, no one wants you to wear muscle Ts, honestly. I mean it's enough that your not even trying to keep in shape, but you don't have to show it off. It's ok, we all know whats there no matter what you wear. We just don't want to see it. This isn't the 90s but I appreciate your long shoulder length curly hair and your Pink Floyd Tshirt. I know it's the cliche thing to say but I am the best girlfriend ever because I am so let loose. I let my boyfriend do whatever he wants and he totally agrees you can ask him if you want.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012


Summer is almost over, but I can feel the heat rising. As uncomfortable as the weather is, I'm glad school is starting and I'm glad it's a brand new one. I am ready to start fresh and be a new person, just like the transition between 8th and 9th grade. I need this year to be good or else I am going to explode. I bought a new backpack style, new style of clothing, and even decided on a new way to organize things in my back pack. I know that sometimes things are meant to be hard because they are life challenges, but honestly,  who knew you could have so many of them in one life time. It's quite a feat and I can't imagine how the people and children with serious life issues are dealing with it. David is reading me "The Series of Unfortunate Events" out loud. I have been missing two of the books since they finished the series and I finally got them. Therefore I now have to start the series over in order to finish it. This is where the bull shit ends. It's the end of fucking High School and that crap is over. Everyone have a good ass life because college is coming and when I make my new friends I am not coming back to you all. I hope all the shit you said and all the rumors you spread were worth it because there is no turning back or apologizing now. This year I am out to make real friends, like life friends. My goal for the new school year is to gain a new group of amazing friends or reconnect with my really good friends from middle school. I miss those days. All the cake make up, fake boobs, wannabes can finally leave me alone because I have enough self esteem to finally say fuck off. My neighbor, the ass hole one, the 40 year old guy who makes fun of kids and calls them names, finally stopped talking to me and bothering me after I flipped him off on the fourth of July in front of his entire family because he was yelling at me and shot illegal fireworks straight at my house and precious truck. Anyway, that's all I have time for today, but I'll write tomorrow, if the mermaids don't eat me first...

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I'm getting to be bad.

I am so bad at blogging like I should be. I'm not really sure what happened to me but maybe it's like I said. Maybe I was simply so stressed and hurt by the people in my class that this was the best way for me to vent. Now that I am no longer in school and don't really have contact with all those people, I don't feel the need to blog as often. Although I have been quite busy this summer. To start off, after the whole being accused of stealing thing, I was supposed to go to Mexico for a week on vacation with my family and cousins. The only problem was that the night before the trip my parents decided to finally check the passports that me and my brother had gotten about six years ago. When they looked, they realized that they only last for five years and the nearest passport office is two hours away in San Francisco. So we ended up going to San Francisco, but not for passports. Oh no, that would have been useless. We went on a three day vacation there to the zoo and the aquarium. I'll admit it was ok, but not over a Miami Vice in Mexico. Then I babysat for three weeks directly after that and it just ended this Friday. That was hell to, from seven in the morning to at least six at night even ten sometimes. All day with a picky and vicious little girl. Worth it though for about four hundred bucks a week. Anyways, I'll tell you more about it tomorrow, for now I'm playing Sims and looking for a job...

Sunday, June 24, 2012

High School Never Ends

So this is what it's like after graduation. The school and the girl you hate most call your house and accuse you of stealing a stupid shirt that you just happen to have. It's not my problem you lost your shirt. Just because I have the same one doesn't mean that I stole it. We talked about it at school already. I already told you where and when I got it and even had a witness to say that he was there when I got it. Honestly that is the most ridiculous thing that could have ever happened. Then I text you and talk about it and you say to me that it would be something that I would lie about. What about everyone else in the class? They don't ever lie about shit. Seriously this is not how I was looking to spend my summer, and now my parents think I'm a lying thief. Thank you KANYON SMITH. I hate you I really really do. Don't pull the pitty card either because your hurting me I haven't purposely done any shit to you. End of story.  GOOD BYE YOU FUCKING NO GOOD PEICE OF SHIT HIGH SCHOOL CLASS (except for a select few).

Sunday, June 10, 2012


So when they said, "Hey, you are going to go on that senior trip and have the time of your life. You'll bond and have a blast on the beach." and I said' "No, I hate sand, I don't like my class, I'm afraid of water, I'm allergic to the sun, and thus I'll be indoors alone at all times. Knowing our class I wont be allowed to be unsocial or be on electronics hardly ever so what is the point in me going on this trip?" It ended just as I thought it would. Five minutes after being here I get stuck on a couch with the one person I absolutely hate with a burning passion. As if that wasn't enough my aloe bottle cracked in my suitcase and spilled blue goop all over my things. I spent my day sleeping and attempting to read and blog. I've been indoors in my room by myself all day. Only when I go down to eat are there people that aren't at the beach. It's like I'm home, but no one that I know is around, and I'm under house arrest. I can feel a migraine coming on. I feel like I'm going to puke and this is literally the worst trip I have ever been on. I just want to get into a coma until Thursday in time to pack and leave with the class. By the way, I dyed my hair like red velvet cake like I've been telling you all that I've wanted to do for a very long time. People are finally beginning to realize how selfish she really is though. She has so much money that she can throw around that she's just not used to not getting what she wants. She can go out and buy the most expensive makeup and clothes, thinking we're lesser because we can't, or according to her we just won't. Honestly no matter how much expensive shit she buys, it will never make her beautiful on the inside. It's not that I don't try my best to be nice and get along, but some of the things she says and does to me isn't worth the pain of holding all this in. We can't get the code on our door to work so we aren't supposed to shut the door or people can't get in and out of our suite. Can you guess who keeps shutting the door? That's right! You've guessed it! She does! Get me out of this damn shit hole. I'm ready to go home.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

I Feel...

I feel so much more vented. Acting seems to help me let off steam. I feel like not being myself helps me let out all my emotions. I'm using someone else's charger for this computer right now and it says it's charging but I can't tell if its really working or not. I mean honestly the guys in my class have matured faster than the girls. That is crazy. I guess that's what Waldorf does to you. I realized that blogging really does calm me down. I need this and I will never ever give it up. I feel special. When I write I feel like I can say anything and people may read it and care or not. It makes me feel giddy thinking that someone reads this, but I doubt that anyone other than the two people I know that I gave this website to are reading these posts. I doubt that anyone else could even find this website with out knowing exactly what it's called. I feel like I'm talking to a therapist because I keep saying I feel...Yeah bitchen....bye

Last Day

Ok some serious shit has gone down today and to be honest I'm more ready than ever to get out of here. I have realized that these people are so much more immature than I had ever known a senior could be. It's almost as if they don't respect my personal space. They don't realize when they've gone too far. Its something they honestly need to fix or they won't have any good friends when they move on from high school because everyone in college is going to think they're immature bitches. The only people they'll be able to hang out with will be immature high schoolers, barbie wannabes, and whores. Those would be the only people stupid enough to hang out with someone like that. It's more than I can fathom at the moment. Going on stage. I'll write more later I promise.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Sunday School

It's not the kind of Sunday school that you normally think of. Rather than being at a church, I'm at school. I'm sitting here on my lap top doing nothing. Again, this is for the senior play at the school. Again I am stuck here with nothing to do, and no one to talk to. It's so hot here in California in the summertime and I feel like I am dying of thirst. Unfortunately I have nothing to drink and thus my mouth is beginning to feel very dry. Just typing about it is making me that much more conscious of how thirsty I really am. The air in this small room is so stuffy and the one fan that is attempting to circulate the room isn't helping in the least bit. We haven't gotten as far in the play as we had anticipated, but I hope we are still going to end at the same time. Nine is late for me. Especially when I have to wake up at six to be at school on time. Some people just get worse and worse. More selfish and less caring of the close people they hurt along the way. So many people are becoming more and more whoreish and slutty. It's almost too much to handle.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Last Week of School

So, I'm expecting that to suck A. Yes, A from Pretty Little Liars, as in Anonymous, will be sucked. We are going to be on a bus with people that I hate for eight hours with out being able to use any electronics. I don't see that ending well at all. At least when I'm stuck inside the house while everyone is having fun on the beach I'll have all my electronics. Hopefully there will be WiFi so that I can type on here. That's basically my only worry. I won't have music, and I won't be able to blog.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


(Jason Mraz- I Won't Give Up On Us needs to be listened to while reading this blog entry)
For sure it is one of the two best cartoons in the whole world. The second being Scooby Doo. Rugrats was my favorite show all through my childhood. Not to mention its one of the only ways to keep me quiet and still for a long period of time. I long for those years again. Everything felt so easy, I felt like I was free, like I could touch the stars. When my parents actually loved and trusted me,and let me do my own thing. The punishment for the small things was small and for the larger things still wasn't so bad. Now, the punishment for the small things is the same as the larger ones. Sometimes I wonder how different it would have been if my mom hadn't had me at 18, and let my father walk off not knowing he was a father. If he was around, or even if i hadn't been born till later on or never. I wonder how much it would have helped her and me. Would she have stayed with him? Would we be as close as we are now if he was still around? Would the discipline be any different if he knew I existed, or if he was around? I wonder if he knew...would he have even stayed? I just feel like I need him to answer my questions before I can move on. I know it sounds stupid, and people try to tell me that to know myself I don't need to know him. It's like all the typical dramatic movies except I'm living it. To be honest, I don't need to know him to know myself, because him not being here is a part of me. Still, he is a part of me that  I really want to know. Sometimes I wish that I was even a little normal so that I could fit in. I don't need the damn pity that they all think that they have to give to me because of what I've been through. In truth, all the hardships that I've faces have made me that strong and understanding person that I am. I will now always stand up for myself because I've learned that I won't get anything I want or anything done if I don't stand up for myself. I am open and brutally honest, and I'm almost to the point where I am embracing who I am and loving myself. I won't give up on myself or anyone else because I know what it's like to have everyone around you that you love and care about not believe in what you are trying to do and completely give up on you amounting to anything. My parents even asked me the day I turned 16 if I thought that I should drop out and stop wasting their money. That was probably the deffining moment for me. That was when I realized that I wanted to make something of myself that is going to be better than anything that they could ever amount to. That I wanted to work in a job that would help people. I wanted to shove every successes that I was ever going to make in their faces, prove them so utterly wrong that they would feel the worst kind of sorry and sadness that they had ever doubted me. I now know exactly what I want in my life and I want to make all of it happen for myself and for my future kids. They will for sure have better than I ever had. That's my goal in life. I'll do anything to make it happen...


So I'm glad that there are only like three people that read this, although I sometimes do wish there were more. Strangers that I could relate to, not in a creepy way, but just to know that I'm not alone. So apparently my hair today reminds certain people of a cocker spaniel. Its ridiculous the things that people can think up. Anyways, I'm almost being pulled into a whole new part in the play. Hopefully it wont turn out that way because I don't want to memorize those lines in only four days, or really only one because everyone is supposed to be off book by tomorrow. I also have a new stalker on Facebook, as if two wasn't enough. He's an old crush. Now hes back after blocking me on Facebook and changing his phone number. He's saying that he misses me like crazy and is wondering if there is any chance that we'll get back together. Here's the thing. I am MADLY in love and I don't ever plan on leaving this guy because I'll never find anything better. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. He listens, treats me right, loves me, understands or at least tries to, deals with all my moods and shit that I pull. He's something that I would never be able to find again and so I don't plan on giving him up. Truthfully he's the only thing that matters to me and his opinion is the only one that I really listen to . it's unavoidable passion. He's my thing. My muse. My love. My home. My heart. My best friend. My faith. My hope. My everything.

Picky picky

Why do I have to be pulled into this? I've been putting up suggestions since day one but she's too damn picky to do a simple poster and now I'm getting in trouble for doing nothing. I can't help it that she doesn't want a simply eight and a half by eleven poster to work off of. She wants huge posters but sh cant decide how she wants them done. She also wants to do the pictures her way. How am I supposed to do anything productive if she shuts down my every idea. I can't do shit if my partner isn't cooperative or can't compromise. It makes everything that I'm trying to do that much more difficult. It's something that I am trying so hard to do but for some reason she is just so unwilling. I seriously doubt that this group will get anything done with her trying to be the ringleader.

Friday, May 25, 2012


So yes...I do believe in fairies, ghosts, demons, angels, etc. People simply just don't see/hear/feel what I do and that makes all the difference. They don't understand, and don't try to. They don't want to believe, don't want to let in any widespread disbelief and risk being outcast from society. It's only make believe if you don't have faith anymore and to be honest most of the world has lost its faith, hope, and frankly their dignity. It's not something I look forward to my kids growing up in. They deserve better than the shit that we have mindlessly created for them.

It's Only a Paper Moon...

So I'm feeling pretty good today, and there's a chance of rain. It's not very sunny which means it will give my hives from the sun a chance to die down. Really with the skin that I have I shouldn't be living in California. It's not the smartest idea my family has had. So that's pretty much my day so far. Also, apparently this morning there was an old parent volunteer who had simply gone of the deep end at our school office. She had no clothes on, and was talking about how she was looking for someone that no one knew. It was pretty funny for that to be the first thing you see when arriving to school. The only problem was that it was in the lower school, and that was what most of the little kids also saw when first arriving to school. Another one of my life long dreams will never come true. Honestly I knew they were old, but I never expected MCA from the Beastie Boys to die. He will be missed. I know its really pathetic, but I cried when I first heard the news. I'm scared. Life is so obviously short. I'm scared of college, of moving out, of getting married, of having a kid. It's so overwhelming, but I want to take every opportunity I'm given because I fell like I could die at any moment in time. I want to live life out like I want to not how I'm told to. I just need people to put a little trust in me...

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Shut the HELL up

I don't want to hear it. I have my opinions and that's that. I don't need any of your input because I can do it all n my own. I know how to manage, I've learned. I think that you all are thinking about how stupid I am and that I'm just another bimbo know it all bitch, but truthfully get to know me before you start talking that shit. Give me a fucking chance before you turn me down. I can't wait till college. I'm ready for this shit. I'm ready to go out, and make my own rules. I'm ready to be out past fucking 11. i'm ready to be out in the world partying and happy. Ha. Don't make that fucking face at me. I may be a bitch but at least I'm honest. I mean you don't have to lie to be nice. That's not truly being nice. Seriously stop looking at me and laughing. Your the bitch here. Really this is fucking bull. Get out of here. Take a picture and throw darts at it but please stop staring at me. Really I'm not that pretty please stop :p. Fuck off. Better yet, go fuck yourself on a webcam. I am so tired of your bitchy looks and you dumb ass comments. You and my ass hole neighbor should get married. You'd be perfect for each other. You both have this unspoken hate towards me and both try to make me seem like and idiot. Maybe you two could start plotting out plans together. Dane Cook always has a way of making me feel better I have to say. And he's not really that bad looking either. I think I'm really tired and that's why I am so pissy today. I have to say that if Italian, frozen yogurt, and fruit never existed, I would be so much skinnier. those deffinatly are my weaknesses. I feel bad for the little kid class next to our room we are using because my class is in there blasting the song "shots" on the piano and drums and the poor little kids are in band in the next room. Crystal Castles. That's the band for me. I love dancing to them. I am wearing a skirt today, which I don't do very often. Let me tell you, I remember why I never wear them, especially with out shorts underneath, because you can't do shit in skirts and dresses. I feel like this blog is just going to drag on forever because I keep adding onto it through out the day. And it's all random, and the subject changes make no sense, but why should I care because this is my blog and I can write it however I want to right? What are they even saying in the song "Air War"? Is it supposed to mean something because from what I do understand them saying it makes no sense. I love the singer Lights. Her voice makes me so happy. I <3 U. ForEver. If this war is never ending, I'll take this love down with me like a banner. I think that I want to bring my ipod speakers tomorrow, maybe to sing along with. I love to sing. Just not in front of anyone. I am afraid of rejection in that area. I am so glad I don't have to sing in the play, I would turn so red and start to shake and you'd be able to hear it in my voice and it would just be very bad. So yum. I just ate my lunch, water, a fiber 1 bar, and a pear. And now I"m listening to shuffle on my itunes. Its an O.K. day I suppose. Ddd. I love art. I've gained a new idol. I'm not sure if I've named her but her name is Ariana Grande. She's absolutely gorgeous. That word is so weird. Gorgeous. Its spelled weird. I'm sitting in an empty room and its weird because everyone is out to lunch. I have the wierdest taste in music. If you were to listen to my ipod on shuffle, you'd think it was a mix of like five different people at the lest. It's insane. My arms get cold in February air. Someone is seriously going to get their ear bitten off today. I swear. Twinkle twinkle little Star ship.

Nate FUcK FaceBooK TroLLs

Seriously...LEAVE ME ALONE. Yeah I said that I would add you if you stopped commenting on my things and talking to me. Even though you promised, your still doing it. I don't need your bullshit pitty and like I don't need your protection. I mean its nice and all but listen, I'm  a big girl and I can take care of myself. Besides you ain't serious about any of it which is crap. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm tired of dealing with fake bullshit douche bag guys that pretend to like me and pretend to be nice and be friends with me. The girls that do it are bad too, but I know how to get rid of them. Why is it so hard to get rid of you?

Much Ado About Nothing

So we are basing our Shakespeare play in the 1940's which should be fun, but I suspect that the rest of it is going to suck for me. I am a tiny part, an extra with no lines. I wont fit in any of the costumes because, to put it in a nice way, I am way to fucking curvy for these girls. Other than that I feel like this is going to go by so slow. I have no lines to memorize, I don't have anything else to work on so basically I'm sitting here every day doing nothing. On Facebook and this shit all day every day. I have no life, kill me. Anyways after the play is senior trip which I have already said is going to be a complete drag considering that I am deathly afraid of water and I'm allergic to the sun. O.K. It's really hard to talk about how much of a bad mood I'm in while listening to Wallpaper. "Ddd" and "STUPiDFACEDD." Best songs to make anyone feel better. Also Girlicious "Drank." simply ridiculous songs. Ddd Ddd da di da. I don't know whatcha mean, but I'm really glad you're feelin me. OH SHIT. I love you all hella much. Thanks for reading my whiney complaining shit. <3 Don't you ever stop loving me. ;) 

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Bimbo and Douchebag Competition

So my boyfriend and his friends started a competition on who could be the most douche bag or bimbo twitter user and I said straight out that I could win. The fact is I did win, by a lot. They have hated me all along and I never even noticed. My boyfriend said that when we broke up for a day all they said was you'll get over it, and when I won the competition they said that the only reason that he even let me hang out with them or join their competition or any of that was because he's whipped. You know what? They can all just go fuck themselves. They are such ass holes. My boyfriend needs to cleans his life and seriously get some new friends. I feel really bad for home. Almost all of his friends are ass holes to me and him and he doesn't really care or do much about it. I try to help him and he knows whats wrong with them but he wont even try to get new friends. It breaks my heart to see what he has to put up with every day, but I suppose that is his way of life. Course classes end on friday then the play starts that meant we don't start school until 8:30 AM and get an hour lunch at 12:15! So excited. Still not looking forward to Senior trip and am still planning to get out of it. It will happen. End of story.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Senior Trip

I am so excluded from my class. I feel like a hippo surrounded by lions. I don't feel safe, comfortable, accepted, liked, or wanted. I feel like one fatal move could end high school for me. I want to get out of here. I don't want to be around these vicious snapping lions longer than I have and I feel so strongly about that that I'm beginning to cry just because I could never think of bearing senior trip. Its almost as if even though there is so much space between me and my other class mates I'm suffocating from the pressure to not get on their nerves or give them a reason to lash out at me like they do. I'm being forced through something that doesn't need to be happening.

Been a Long Time

So I know that I haven't been writing for a while but after the whole blog spread over school thing I needed a serious break. In case you were wondering I do plan to carry this blog out through out college and maybe even longer. I need this space. Its something to do, something to amuse me and keep me at ease. I love writing, but not so much stories like I used to, but more about my thinking, my general feeling and venting about things. I can't believe that I really am being yelled at for paying attention and simply typing. Its not like I'm on a social network or anything. I am for sure not looking forward to senior trip or anything of the sort. Have to go for now.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Bullshit Poker

Fucking bullshit guy here. Seriously if i choose to move out the best deal that I'll get is with him. Fuck that. I don't like to play nice. He can go fuck himself in a hole seriously he's that stupid. Like Marilyn Manson he'd be stupid enough and desperate enough from never getting laid to get his bottom two ribs taken out to be able to suck himself. Hahaha I'm not wearing my best make up and I don't have my hair done so he can be mad at me all he wants. I don't give a shit what he thinks and never will. Too risky to type right now so It'll be a lot more later.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Fuck Me

How much more of a fucking idiot can I be?? I mean seriously I hate myself but I can't seem to get myself to change but now I'm going to. I'm not cussing and I'm not making mean comments. I'm not gonna call people names or make jokes because even though people think it's funny and accept me for it, I'm done feeling bad. I'd rather feel bad about myself than feel like I'm bullying people even though they laugh with me. I'm done I feel like shit and that's it. The End. It's over. Don't expect me to be me anymore ok? Say goodbye to Audrrinna she's a ghost now.....

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Saint Valentine

So let me get this straight. Even though no one sits next to me in Main Lesson, you all want to claim that you like me? Once a camera shows up you guys are all like "Let's take a picture with Audrrinna!" What you not saying out loud is, lets make her feel like she's included for a few and make the teachers think that we are including her and pretend to all get along. That's not real Chicas, that's not how life works. Your setting yourself up for failure that way. Please go have fake fun somewhere else because I don;t want you fake friendship. I feel haunted by all the people who I thought were my friends, but really they turned against me soon after. I trusted them so much, and then they go and kill that trust. Like your using me for what you need, what you want me to do when your never really there for me. Your never there to return the favor. I really don't want to come on Friday. I want to stay home, or go to the library at my boyfriend's school. I want to be happy and not here with all you shit talking and lying ass holes. It's not that I don't like you, but you don't like me and I'd rather you just admit it to my face rather than hide it behind fake smiles and gifts that mean nothing. I'm sitting here with people who are actually honest right now. I'm so surprised that there really are people at my school like that. SHE keeps singing the stupid Justin Beiber song. I really can't stand it and would rather not have it stuck in my head for the rest of the week. I can't stand this. I am going to wear my sunglasses all day today. I want to sleep right now, or by with my lover. I know for sure that I don't want to be here. At least not here with these people. If I was walking around in the woods or by the river with someone that I actually enjoyed being with.

Sunday, February 12, 2012


I've always wondered why I give my class gifts on the holiday if none of them really like me? Why am I so nice to the people who I absolutely hate with all my heart? Because I like to give. I can't help it. I like that feeling you get when you give something truly heartfelt and the look on their face really makes my day. It only lasts a day, but it's better than nothing am I right? I bet no one bought me valentines day grams. You just watch. Everyone in my class will get one from someone, but I wont get any...It's been that way every year. Maybe I just don't deserve it. Maybe its a privilege that only some people earn. Maybe it's just not for me. I think my boyfriend is the only one that really understands how I feel. His is the only support I'll really accept too. I wrote an insane research paper today. sixteen pages long. lol I'll type a lot tomorrow. Love Ya

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Best Saturday Night Ever

Yes, I am sitting here on a Saturday evening doing homework. And yes, my boyfriend is working at this time too. I am so bored. This post might take me a while because I'll be on and off with homework and this. Finally my ears popped! My ears always plug up when I drive up to El Dorado Hills, and even though it's not that much of a change, for some reason it really gets to me. I am now watching The Ugly Truth, but for some reason I really want to watch Easy A. The girl in this movie is such a control freak. I dont know what to type. So I'll type later. I need to focus...

Guy's Mind

OK, I do have a guys mind. And now that that's said, I have obsessions with Christina Aguilara, Megan Fox, and especially Audrina Patridge. She has the same name as me, and she's hot, how could I not love her. Anyways I made my own Collage for a wallpaper all of her. My boyfriend let me borrow his lap top and thus I have my own user on it. I am Dexter Morgan :) and my little icon is a picture of him. For some reason my boyfriend must be dead asleep because he wont answer my facetime calls!! Maybe his ipad is on silent. I'll try calling his cell phone. He better freakin answer this time. His cat and dog are so cute! And he talks to them like they are his babies it's adorable. He really is more of a girl in this relationship than I am. I am going to make my boyfriend a wallpaper of Megan Fox pictures!! Till later...

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Saints Row (the third)

So...I really want that game. Though I've never played a game like that, but my boyfriend is coming over to teach me. He's bringing Saints Row two. I'm nervous. I feel like I'll be really bad at this game, but I'll want so bad to be really good at it tat I just wont stop trying. I suppose that can be a good thing too though because then I'll just keep learning. Although if i learn this, my boyfriend might get into making me try all these games. I suppose that will be fine, I love making him happy. That's what makes me happy. If he is reading this I want him to know how much I love him. He is just the sweetest thing in the whole world. Aw! I just saw the cutest and chubbiest dog that I have ever seen in my life. I know the dog type, but I have no idea how to spell it. I tried spelling it out but it just didn't look right. It came up with a red line under it, but when I right clicked on it, it had noting related to it. Does anyone know how to spell rot wilier?

Monday, February 6, 2012

I want Money

I have so many things that I want. I need! A camera case for photography class so that I can bring my own camera. A laptop for a ton of classes and so that I can type things up when I'm out and about places. Even if I don't have WiFi I'd like to do it for homework, not just for my blog. I have enough to buy a small laptop an still have 15 dollars of spending money left, but my parents are debating. They are supposed to buy me a laptop for a graduation present. I'm thinking maybe thy'll give it to me early...Anyways I don't really have time to type much else..Till later...

Sunday, February 5, 2012


Why is it that on super bowl Sunday I always end up with a group of guys? I mean, it's fun, but really? Do no other girls watch this? I really want ice cream right now. My boyfriend will take me to get some frozen yogurt soon. Anyways, I can't really type that well right now my boyfriend is all over me so I'll type more later.


So I babysat the cutest kids last night. They were the funniest kids ever. I was scared of feeding the boy though a tube but it wasn't as hard as I had thought. The girl and me know each other already. She used to be in my moms class. The boy was 19 and the girl was 12. Both were special Ed. The girl and me always end up laughing our heads off. We laugh at each other laughing and that just makes everything worse. We watched the old Hairspray, Elmo's sing along guessing game, and Tangled. The boy watched the same Disney sing along tape the whole time I was there. He walked around sometimes, but only in circles around the house. If he finds you sitting down he will come sit on your lap. I think he is one of the happiest and most content kids I have every met. They are so easy to take care of despite what people would think. The girl just makes me crack up, we both end up laughing our heads off till we cry. This is one thing I love about life. Little kids are cute, and simply don't give a damn. That's why I love the show Seriously Funny Kids!! The girl's parents went to a Clue party. She made a dress with added purple sparkly fabric. We pinned the extra on the girl like a dress and now there is purple glitter all over me, her, and the rest of the house.Today I am going to see chronical, and I am also going to a super bowl party with my boyfriend. Unfortunately the party is at the house of the ONE friend of his that I really do not like. I said I would go anyways and try my best to play nice. I feel like this weekend has flow by. I've had so much to do and it's been hectic. One thing after the other. But I miss these kinds of weekends. I don't have them very often now. Anyways I'll type more later...

Friday, February 3, 2012

Lucky has never been my middle name...

Really? You keep looking over here? you make it way to obvious to me. What? do you think that I don't see you staring a me. Just take a picture, or even better, forget about me, because no matter how much you stare at me, I'm still not going to want to talk to you. I want school to be over so I can just get rid of her. I really need to do homework tonight. LOTS of it. I need to not only read and begin that 5 page review, but I also need to begin my research paper and to a hell of a lot more research for that. I think that I am going to borrow this lap top until after lunch....or at the least until next class. The teachers are forcing us to miss a class so that the girls can get together and have a circle about working together and helping and supporting each other. "It's not just about what happened with you...but..." that's all she said. Do you not think that all the girls are already going to know that that whole thing is because of me? Your putting me out there, putting me on the line, and I'm going to fall further into a social shit hole. Thank you so much I mean really all your help has made everything so much worse. I love that. Thank you, thank you, Fuck you. You fucked me over even more for the rest of the year. Anyways, S.K.P. has a  really nice shirt on today. I really like it the color.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

I can hear them whispering

Don't think I don't know that your talking about me. It's hard enough having to deal with this pity but I hate when people feel sorry for me. Really please just don't. I have a good life compared to a lot of people so I'm all set. Let it be. Really. Leave me alone...

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Pity and sympathy

I don't want any of it. I'm a big girl and I can solve my own problems thank you. I don't want your help in any way shape or form. So stop asking me about it. I don't trust you. Or anyone for that matter so your wasting your time. Give it up already, I'm too good to fall for you bullshit. And no I don't want to talk to her at all. I don't want to "discuss" thing with her. Been there done that already tried the end. Get it? If I didn't like you then or trust you enough then to tell you what makes you think I do and will now?

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Dead Space (Scared Yet?)

Ok...really that game is not as scary as it's cracked up to be. I could never see anyone having nightmares from a simple game like that. It just seems really stressful. I know D.N. disagrees, but I really feel that way and it surely wont change any time soon. Also, this blog is not to be shared with the world. I know that this might get around, but I'm telling you my innermost secrets and feelings and trusting you enough to let you read. It's nothing to gossip about. This is almost like my diary. I feel like these are things that I want to say and want people to hear, but am simply too afraid of the reaction I'll get. Opening up for me now is really hard. If i open up to you and tell you things (like about my blog) you should feel honored. These are the things I dream of saying out loud, but keep them to the web, and you, special bunch of people, are the only ones who will find this site and read it. My feelings are shattered that you would even dare show this to someone else. Really? That's Shit. That would be like you trusting me with your diary and me simply allowing all these people at school to read it. Anyways don't give them the website or ever do that again. Thanks! On other news. The book I'm reading is not getting any happier. The teacher said only the beginning was sad but obviously she has a different opinion of me and D.N. have a different opinion of scary. God I cant get over feeling betrayed right now. It's not like I don't already have so many issues with trust, this just makes everything so much worse. I hate trusting people and this is why. It gets me fucking screwed over, you know? BULL SHIT. This school is full of pretty girls, most of them waiting for some small speck of drama so they can blow it up in everyone's faces. You know why that is? Because NOTHING ever happens at this school. I mean the occasional little mishap, but nothing big. This blog would be huge. If it got around I'd be devastated and E reminded me of that. I have crappy classes next. No more study hall. Yay Math....Yeah right. The bright side is I do have Mr.Heitzberg next class. I'm not looking forward to all my easy classes being dropped. I think I might have to drop the math soon and go back to study hall because once I get into Africa, with this art, and math, and government, and no free period for homework but lunch, I'm going to start failing again. I've been trying really hard this year to keep my grades as high as I possibly can, always doing my best, but then again, I've tried that before and it never works. I suppose I'll just have to over work myself. But if that means good grades and a good college then so be it. Sometimes there's so much stuff going on that I just...feel like I can't breath. I feel constricted and trapped and scared. Like I do when I'm inside in the dark, or out on a boat. I feel like the whole world could come to an end any second and here I'd be, stuck in the center of it all. Like just scares me in general, but I deal with the bullshit that is thrown at me because what the hell am I gonna do to change the way I'm treated by others. I'm just glad I'm free to leave, be myself, start all over, in June. I'll be happy then, I hope....This is for the eyes of who I choose. This is how I feel.

"People skateboarding make me really nervous"

I didn't really write much yesterday, but also got a Little Black Book to write in. Its for things that I don't wish the whole world to know, or for when I don't have Internet access. Haha A.C. (haha Ay Dios mio A.C.) is reading a book that I want to read, and I just realized that it's from Oprah's book club. Now we are talking about volcanoes, and how people who go high on those mountainous death traps need serious insurance just in case it happens to erupt. I'm not looking forward to this week. I want it to be February break already. Except for the fact that I'm going to my grandparents for the whole week. Out in the middle of nowhere. A.C. wishes she had an apartment, so do I. I realized that the last time w went to my grandparents my mom said she was going to get me texting AFTER because she knew there was nothing else to do there. She didn't get it for me after and she better get it for me before this time because last time was so extremely boring. Someone just said our class is messy, and all over the place. Thats so untrue. Everyone (but me) gets along with everyone else. So tired of this bullshit. I just wanna go home and go to college and eventually start all over. I'm nervous....If people somehow get a hold of this blog....I could see many of them being so pissed. Why would it matter though huh? If they don't like me already why should I really care what they are thinking or saying about me. My senior page, I bet, will only include a few people. Nothing special. My class will be so disappointed, especially the girls. I wont care though. Shouldn't care...Right?

Monday, January 30, 2012

Dont Forget to Sever the Head

Don't get me wrong. I love this calss' ideas, I really do, but there's some big issues. If we were to go somewhere really sunny and hot, yes I could dress all covered up and under the shade. All you will be swimming and in your bathing suits and having fun. I'll be by myself because I'm allergic so I can't go out in the sun like that. Not to mention how hot it would be. I'd be alone for the whole trip. Plus I'm afraid of large bodies of water like that I'd only let it go up to my knees even if I was willing to risk cancer. I suppose though, I'd be alone no matter where we went because none of you decide to hang out with me. Plus the teacher hates me so that just adds to the hate. It simply wouldn't be worth it. Math was so much fun today. We played black jack as our lesson. We learned to count cards and I suppose add really fast. Sometimes, I think my boyfriend is the only one who truly cares for me outside some of my family. I just want this yea to be over, and trust me, on senior send off and graduation, I WON'T be crying. Its not worth it. None of you is worth it accept D.N. Its not as simple as saying that I don't like you. Its not as simple as saying that you've all hurt my feelings. You guys have done o much more than that and in a way it helped me. You taught me that no one should be trusted, that the world is full of problems and hate and that it will never get better, it will keep getting worse, and that your social problems that are making you feel mentally insane, are nothing compared to that cunning manipulative whore her' stupid middle school friend problems that will be gone by tomorrow. I feel like I've learned what the world really is, what its worth, and when she. and the rest of you whiny bitches are thrown out into it, I'll be the only one left standing tall. Sometimes I feel sorry for you bitches, but then I think about all those things that you never did for me and I just say "Forget it!" There's very few people in this world that I actually wish something good for. And the rest of you can all get your asses burned in HELL. Your scum and your not worth the time that anyone is taking on you. Your not worth my time or my hurt feelings. Your not worth me feeling sad over what you think about me, or even caring. Life sucks, and I've already gotten used to it. I wanna see how well you do. I wish I could watch you in my shoes for a day, see how you like it. Your all shit eating ass fucking little whore bitches, period...

Mistakes are Human

Teachers made the mistakes of allowing us to use laptops during class. Our Main Lesson teacher made the mistake of giving us laptops to use during class. This is now the only free time I have to write other than lunch. I have some how been signed up for a math class during my study hall. E keeps reading my shit. I just realized that there is a plate hanging on the classroom wall that as my mother's favorite flowers on it. I am in love with this class though. And the book that I chose for the research paper so far is very sad, but a very amazing book. I highly recommend. It's called In the Time of the Butterflies.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

West Side Story

I went and saw the Sacramento Broadway version of West Side Story today. It was amazing, and since I had saved seeing the movie until after I saw the musical I was happy. It was meant to be. One of my moms friends just happened to not be able to go so I got the ticket. I've learned that I will also be going to Mama Mia in March and possibly Wicked in May. I got In-N-Out today too. Animal fries are so delicious. And once you get to the ends you can dip them in your chocolate milkshake! I had to have David over before hand and could not go to puppy class, but he went with my step dad an little brother. I forgot to ask him how that went. It was a boys day for them and a ladies day for us. It was a lot of fun today. I realized I'm like a puppy. If your my boyfriend, I need your full attention ad if I don't have it I feel left out and unloved. That was so weird! I've been reading my book that I chose for my book report and it is really good! I can't wait to get farther into it. I also have to watch The Mission for extra credit. I've heard it's very good. I think tomorrow is going to be more of a relaxing day. I watched Bill and Teds Excellent Adventures the cartoon this morning and I loved it. I also bought some more great songs on iTunes. My cat is sleeping at the foot of my bed and my boyfriend is on his way to a party with BW. I miss and love BW. lol that makes me want to watch Arthur. Lol BW, DW, get it? Haha I can't wait for my babe to send me drunk texts. Anyways I'll talk more later! I promise...

Friday, January 27, 2012


So I'm at my boyfriends house searching through all his year books and old keepsakes. He is so cute, and when he was little he looked exactly like his brothers. His cousin and aunt and uncle are here. His aunt is his moms twin sister. His family is so big and pretty and amazing and I am so jealous. I mean, I love him so much, but I am deathly jealous of his family. I would trade him any day...except for my grandpa, grandma, and mother. But other than that, any day Navarrete any day. He's mad because A didn't sign his year book Junior Year of high school. He's saying if he doesn't find the signature he's going to make A sign it now. Haha what a cutie. He's complaining to A right now, texting him. We'll see what he says; if he cares at all.

Theres a German Shepheard Outside My Window

I finished My yearbook shit so all's good. I can start writing again thank god! I love to write and I can never wait to get to do it again. I'm trying to post at least three post a day and I want them all to be really long. I haven't quite gotten as long as I've wanted them but I'll be there soon I hope (that's what she said). Everyone around me is listening to country, and I have to say that I love that this school isn't judgmental. I love country music. Its nice having people who don't judge, but when they simply don't like you it doesn't make it much better. Anyways, enough about school. I can't wait to get home and relax, or go to Target and get those shirts that I want. To see my boyfriend, and go out and do something until he has to go and see his dad. For some reason even though him and his brothers live in EDH, they meet in Folsom. She isn't anywhere in sight. Also I have to get home on an eighth of a tank of gas and I'm not sure why, but the orange engine light in my truck is on. It kinda freaks me out but I feel like, and I've been told that I should be more worried about running out of gas rather than having engine problems. I am worried about the gas. If I run out, at least I don't ever take the free way so someone can always come and get me. I'm debating on using $20 of my own money to at least get to half a tank, and then have my parents pay me back when they get home. I'll call my mom later to ask. That's probably what I'll do. Bull Shit my boyfriend just texted me saying that he gets off work at 5 and his dad wants to meet him at 5:30...that means I'll only be able to see him for about 20 minutes at most. Well that sucks. tomorrow I have puppy training from 1-2, and he has work at 5 so that leaves at most two and a half hours. Also on Sunday he works the same hours. This weekend is going to suck ass, not as much as last weekend with A, but pretty bad. I suppose that I'll be doing homework, and watching Dexter. I need the time for homework anyways. That reminds me that I need to go to the school library right after class because I switched book report books. I need to get started because I have to do a book report and a 8-10 page research paper in two weeks. I need all the time I can get. I think I'll finish the book and the report then have all the extra time to focus hard on this research paper about Juan Peron. I just went from Shirley Temple to "Mack the Knife" by Michael Buble. Haha! What a change that was. And now onto "Heads Will Roll" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The glitters all wet! I feel really bored, and so does everyone else. We don't have the right pictures t start new pages so we are all stuck doing nothing in these classes. I believe that this is the longest blog that I have written so far which really excites me. I told you earlier that I had a lot to write about today and I wasn't kidding. We listen to the weirdest music here on Youtube, and this teacher is so lenient. I love him. He's the best teacher ever, otherwise I'd be getting my Ipod taken from me for a whole 24 hours which would really end up being until Monday and I can't wait that long for my Ipod, my baby. That's too long to be away from my music! By the way if you read the description of a Leo, it describes me almost exactly. I'll paste one later. So this is getting really boring...I'm sure for you readers too. So I'll write more later. <3


So, I don't have study hall at all today. That really sucks because its Friday and today I just happen to have so much more to talk about. First off, She. had to drink this tea from South America that most of us had tried before. It really is an acquired taste, or it takes a while to get used to, and the first person to drink it gets the strongest and most bitter sips. Its called Mate by the way. And in case you were wondering, yes, She. was the first person to drink. She hated it, but its a culture tradition to finish all the water in the Mate before passing it on to the next person. The teacher made her try it twice because you really do have to get used to the bitterness first before it actually begins to taste good. It also does wonders for your body (if it is organic) and everyone should drink it at least once in a while if not every day before and after meals. We also had Chinese New Year today and to see her head bobbing with their music of culture pretending like she knew the tune and loved the music just made me laugh. Not out loud of course because it was a performance, but close to it. I thought about how people, like E, probably want me to just play along. She's so rude to me that I can't even think about playing nice with that girl. But I also don't want to start anything that could hurt any of my "friendships" so I just ignore her and try to stay as far away as possible. It's kind of annoying really. I have to plan my day around her so that I don't run into her and do anything rash. I'm not sure how else to explain it but if you've ever been in this situation I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. She has this way of just always pushing my buttons weather it be something she does or something she says so I simply steer clear. She's cruel on the inside she really is! Other people don't see it but I normally have a good judgment of character, she's like....Cruela Devil. Sweet, Innocent, and LOVING on the outside but deep down inside she's only out to get people, people like me. Its all a matter of time before everyone sees who she really is and she ends up all alone. I can't wait for that day, I know that's mean, but as I've explained before I'm brutally honest. Anyway, that's probably enough about her, and it's almost time for class to start so I'll have to write more later, or when I get home......