Monday, December 17, 2012

They Wonder

They wonder why she sits in her room all day with her headphones in, go on walks by herself, or stay at her bf's house or out with him all day. She doesn't see why she would ever do that. Oh wait, yes she does. Maybe because she hasn't heard a praising word out of any of their mouths since who knows when. The last time she can remember either of her parents telling her that they were proud of her, or anything like that, was in the fifth grade. They wonder why if she hates living here hasn't she moved out yet because they could care less. If she had the money to move out and away with no contact for the rest of her life, just start over somewhere far away as a new person, she would. They wonder why she went by a different name when they first moved here. Maybe because she didn't want to be who she was, or apart of the family that she was apart of. She doesn't understand how a mother could threaten to beat her daughter and then say if her daughter called the CPS it would be a wonderful break from her to be in jail. How can you tell your daughter that you could care less if she moved out and you wouldn't ever help her out. Not only to have her parents pick on her, but her little brother picks on her too because they don't do anything about it. They comment on how much weight she gains, how she'll never do well in school or in the real world. How she'd never graduate high school. You even asked her if she wanted to drop out because you didn't want to waste your money on her anymore. You tell her she's a selfish brat because she complains about the private school that's so expensive. It's paid for by you with her college tuition money, her saves money, and you forced her to go there with people that absolutely despised her and outcasted her all four years of high school. She';; never show emotion, or cry in front of you because she feels like she has to be better than that, she can't let you win. She can't let you see her break down. They think that because they buy things for her it makes her owe them that respect even when they don't respect her. She feels like the invisible daughter just getting a "That's nice." when she gets As and Bs when her brother gets to go out to eat and gets money and praise when he gets A's. Even when she was his age and was getting better in school after getting her meds, you never praised her like that. I guess I still do have something to vent and write about. I guess it wasn't just my peers that were causing me to be depressed, I guess it was my home life too. It's not enough for me to hear I love you and not believe it....Love Audi.....(Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars-Safe and Sound).

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