Bullshit Poker

Fucking bullshit guy here. Seriously if i choose to move out the best deal that I'll get is with him. Fuck that. I don't like to play nice. He can go fuck himself in a hole seriously he's that stupid. Like Marilyn Manson he'd be stupid enough and desperate enough from never getting laid to get his bottom two ribs taken out to be able to suck himself. Hahaha I'm not wearing my best make up and I don't have my hair done so he can be mad at me all he wants. I don't give a shit what he thinks and never will. Too risky to type right now so It'll be a lot more later.

Fuck Me

How much more of a fucking idiot can I be?? I mean seriously I hate myself but I can't seem to get myself to change but now I'm going to. I'm not cussing and I'm not making mean comments. I'm not gonna call people names or make jokes because even though people think it's funny and accept me for it, I'm done feeling bad. I'd rather feel bad about myself than feel like I'm bullying people even though they laugh with me. I'm done I feel like shit and that's it. The End. It's over. Don't expect me to be me anymore ok? Say goodbye to Audrrinna she's a ghost now.....

Saint Valentine

So let me get this straight. Even though no one sits next to me in Main Lesson, you all want to claim that you like me? Once a camera shows up you guys are all like "Let's take a picture with Audrrinna!" What you not saying out loud is, lets make her feel like she's included for a few and make the teachers think that we are including her and pretend to all get along. That's not real Chicas, that's not how life works. Your setting yourself up for failure that way. Please go have fake fun somewhere else because I don;t want you fake friendship. I feel haunted by all the people who I thought were my friends, but really they turned against me soon after. I trusted them so much, and then they go and kill that trust. Like your using me for what you need, what you want me to do when your never really there for me. Your never there to return the favor. I really don't want to come on Friday. I want to stay home, or go to the library at my boyfriend's school. I want to be happy and not here with all you shit talking and lying ass holes. It's not that I don't like you, but you don't like me and I'd rather you just admit it to my face rather than hide it behind fake smiles and gifts that mean nothing. I'm sitting here with people who are actually honest right now. I'm so surprised that there really are people at my school like that. SHE keeps singing the stupid Justin Beiber song. I really can't stand it and would rather not have it stuck in my head for the rest of the week. I can't stand this. I am going to wear my sunglasses all day today. I want to sleep right now, or by with my lover. I know for sure that I don't want to be here. At least not here with these people. If I was walking around in the woods or by the river with someone that I actually enjoyed being with.

Vanlentines

I've always wondered why I give my class gifts on the holiday if none of them really like me? Why am I so nice to the people who I absolutely hate with all my heart? Because I like to give. I can't help it. I like that feeling you get when you give something truly heartfelt and the look on their face really makes my day. It only lasts a day, but it's better than nothing am I right? I bet no one bought me valentines day grams. You just watch. Everyone in my class will get one from someone, but I wont get any...It's been that way every year. Maybe I just don't deserve it. Maybe its a privilege that only some people earn. Maybe it's just not for me. I think my boyfriend is the only one that really understands how I feel. His is the only support I'll really accept too. I wrote an insane research paper today. sixteen pages long. lol I'll type a lot tomorrow. Love Ya

Best Saturday Night Ever

Yes, I am sitting here on a Saturday evening doing homework. And yes, my boyfriend is working at this time too. I am so bored. This post might take me a while because I'll be on and off with homework and this. Finally my ears popped! My ears always plug up when I drive up to El Dorado Hills, and even though it's not that much of a change, for some reason it really gets to me. I am now watching The Ugly Truth, but for some reason I really want to watch Easy A. The girl in this movie is such a control freak. I dont know what to type. So I'll type later. I need to focus...

Guy's Mind

OK, I do have a guys mind. And now that that's said, I have obsessions with Christina Aguilara, Megan Fox, and especially Audrina Patridge. She has the same name as me, and she's hot, how could I not love her. Anyways I made my own Collage for a wallpaper all of her. My boyfriend let me borrow his lap top and thus I have my own user on it. I am Dexter Morgan :) and my little icon is a picture of him. For some reason my boyfriend must be dead asleep because he wont answer my facetime calls!! Maybe his ipad is on silent. I'll try calling his cell phone. He better freakin answer this time. His cat and dog are so cute! And he talks to them like they are his babies it's adorable. He really is more of a girl in this relationship than I am. I am going to make my boyfriend a wallpaper of Megan Fox pictures!! Till later...

Saints Row (the third)

So...I really want that game. Though I've never played a game like that, but my boyfriend is coming over to teach me. He's bringing Saints Row two. I'm nervous. I feel like I'll be really bad at this game, but I'll want so bad to be really good at it tat I just wont stop trying. I suppose that can be a good thing too though because then I'll just keep learning. Although if i learn this, my boyfriend might get into making me try all these games. I suppose that will be fine, I love making him happy. That's what makes me happy. If he is reading this I want him to know how much I love him. He is just the sweetest thing in the whole world. Aw! I just saw the cutest and chubbiest dog that I have ever seen in my life. I know the dog type, but I have no idea how to spell it. I tried spelling it out but it just didn't look right. It came up with a red line under it, but when I right clicked on it, it had noting related to it. Does anyone know how to spell rot wilier?

I want Money

I have so many things that I want. I need! A camera case for photography class so that I can bring my own camera. A laptop for a ton of classes and so that I can type things up when I'm out and about places. Even if I don't have WiFi I'd like to do it for homework, not just for my blog. I have enough to buy a small laptop an still have 15 dollars of spending money left, but my parents are debating. They are supposed to buy me a laptop for a graduation present. I'm thinking maybe thy'll give it to me early...Anyways I don't really have time to type much else..Till later...

Football

Why is it that on super bowl Sunday I always end up with a group of guys? I mean, it's fun, but really? Do no other girls watch this? I really want ice cream right now. My boyfriend will take me to get some frozen yogurt soon. Anyways, I can't really type that well right now my boyfriend is all over me so I'll type more later.

Hairspray

So I babysat the cutest kids last night. They were the funniest kids ever. I was scared of feeding the boy though a tube but it wasn't as hard as I had thought. The girl and me know each other already. She used to be in my moms class. The boy was 19 and the girl was 12. Both were special Ed. The girl and me always end up laughing our heads off. We laugh at each other laughing and that just makes everything worse. We watched the old Hairspray, Elmo's sing along guessing game, and Tangled. The boy watched the same Disney sing along tape the whole time I was there. He walked around sometimes, but only in circles around the house. If he finds you sitting down he will come sit on your lap. I think he is one of the happiest and most content kids I have every met. They are so easy to take care of despite what people would think. The girl just makes me crack up, we both end up laughing our heads off till we cry. This is one thing I love about life. Little kids are cute, and simply don't give a damn. That's why I love the show Seriously Funny Kids!! The girl's parents went to a Clue party. She made a dress with added purple sparkly fabric. We pinned the extra on the girl like a dress and now there is purple glitter all over me, her, and the rest of the house.Today I am going to see chronical, and I am also going to a super bowl party with my boyfriend. Unfortunately the party is at the house of the ONE friend of his that I really do not like. I said I would go anyways and try my best to play nice. I feel like this weekend has flow by. I've had so much to do and it's been hectic. One thing after the other. But I miss these kinds of weekends. I don't have them very often now. Anyways I'll type more later...

Lucky has never been my middle name...

Really? You keep looking over here? you make it way to obvious to me. What? do you think that I don't see you staring a me. Just take a picture, or even better, forget about me, because no matter how much you stare at me, I'm still not going to want to talk to you. I want school to be over so I can just get rid of her. I really need to do homework tonight. LOTS of it. I need to not only read and begin that 5 page review, but I also need to begin my research paper and to a hell of a lot more research for that. I think that I am going to borrow this lap top until after lunch....or at the least until next class. The teachers are forcing us to miss a class so that the girls can get together and have a circle about working together and helping and supporting each other. "It's not just about what happened with you...but..." that's all she said. Do you not think that all the girls are already going to know that that whole thing is because of me? Your putting me out there, putting me on the line, and I'm going to fall further into a social shit hole. Thank you so much I mean really all your help has made everything so much worse. I love that. Thank you, thank you, Fuck you. You fucked me over even more for the rest of the year. Anyways, S.K.P. has a  really nice shirt on today. I really like it the color.

I can hear them whispering

Don't think I don't know that your talking about me. It's hard enough having to deal with this pity but I hate when people feel sorry for me. Really please just don't. I have a good life compared to a lot of people so I'm all set. Let it be. Really. Leave me alone...

Pity and sympathy

I don't want any of it. I'm a big girl and I can solve my own problems thank you. I don't want your help in any way shape or form. So stop asking me about it. I don't trust you. Or anyone for that matter so your wasting your time. Give it up already, I'm too good to fall for you bullshit. And no I don't want to talk to her at all. I don't want to "discuss" thing with her. Been there done that already tried the end. Get it? If I didn't like you then or trust you enough then to tell you what makes you think I do and will now?