Monday, April 30, 2012
I am so excluded from my class. I feel like a hippo surrounded by lions. I don't feel safe, comfortable, accepted, liked, or wanted. I feel like one fatal move could end high school for me. I want to get out of here. I don't want to be around these vicious snapping lions longer than I have and I feel so strongly about that that I'm beginning to cry just because I could never think of bearing senior trip. Its almost as if even though there is so much space between me and my other class mates I'm suffocating from the pressure to not get on their nerves or give them a reason to lash out at me like they do. I'm being forced through something that doesn't need to be happening.
So I know that I haven't been writing for a while but after the whole blog spread over school thing I needed a serious break. In case you were wondering I do plan to carry this blog out through out college and maybe even longer. I need this space. Its something to do, something to amuse me and keep me at ease. I love writing, but not so much stories like I used to, but more about my thinking, my general feeling and venting about things. I can't believe that I really am being yelled at for paying attention and simply typing. Its not like I'm on a social network or anything. I am for sure not looking forward to senior trip or anything of the sort. Have to go for now.