Vacations

A lot of people take vacations with their friend with out adult supervision, especially now that they are in college. I thought that this would be my year to do that. I was going to go to my grandparents with a couple friends and visit, and for my birthday I was going to go to Santa Cruz with a few of my close friends for three days. I have been waiting for trips like these my entire life. I've been invited on trips like these, but my parents never trusted me so I was never allowed to go. I love taking road trips and it has been my dream for the longest time just to travel to random places with the people I hold the closest. I feel like around my friends I can be myself but if I'm around family I have to hold back and try to be "good." It really isn't fair and that is why I cannot wait to move out. The problem is I just got a job. That gets rid of all my summer trips. I also realized that I am going to have to be in community college for another year and a semester which is a semester more than I had planed. That gives me time to save so that I can move out. It's a long time to wait for some freedom seeing as I have already waited 18+ years for this little bit of freedom. I need to get out of here before my head explodes. I feel trapped. Even though our house is large I feel claustrophobic and overprotected as if we are living in a one room cabin. I feel like the only way to escape my family is to go to school and that's why I take the maximum amount of units every semester including summers. I really appreciate all that my parents do for me, but I really need some independence. I'm ready to move on.

Second Chances

People always say how nice I am and how good of a friend I am. They say I'm really good at being non-judgmental. They obviously don't hear what I say, and don't realize that once you screw me over I'm done. There are no second chances with me. I don't trust people in the first place and if you have taken the time to gain my trust you have no right to screw that up. Just know that when you do, I will ruin your life and make myself like the victim. I will shut you out and get everyone else to shut you out too. Don't try me.

I Hate You

I hate people who park wrong and I hate people who set off firecrackers at all times of the day and I hate people that don't clean up their TP lawns but rather blow it with a leaf blower all over everyone elses and I hate people who think that it's funny to stare and whisper and I hate people that judge me because of my weight and I hate companies that don't carry plus sized just so that they can keep their "image" and I hate friends who are super flakey and I hate small cars and I hate motorcycles that park in the car spaces when there are designated motorcycle spaces open in the first row and I hate people who are watching a movie on a plane and then recite everything that is happening to their relative next to them I mean why cant your relative just watch the damn movie too and I really hate people who don't look at you when your talking to them and I hate bees and I hate water and I hate watches and I hate adults who think it's OK to make fun of children and pick on them even if it's their own kids too and I hate people who say that Disney is crap and it has all these hidden messages and its wrong and disturbing I mean did you see that when you were little and watched those movies? were you just a little 5 year old searching for sexual innuendos in all  your cartoons stop it and I really hate people that don't like songs by a certain person but can't admit that even though their songs may suck they still have a good voice and I hate people who stare at you at the gym I mean don't you have anything better to do stop looking at me because I don't want to have to stare back until your creeped out and I really really really really hate girls who act like their stupid boys don't like you better if your dumb so seriously just stop being an air head and I hate guys who drive crappy cars and then rev their engines like they are so cool stop it your car is ridiculously shitty and no one cares and I hate obnoxious and loud neighbors that are up at all hours of the night sitting outside talking or using power tools or throwing really really loud stupid high school parties stop not before I call the cops for a noise complaint and if you get caught under age drinking too well all the better for me and I hate people who rake their leaves into the storm drain bitch this is not Portland there is no service coming by to pick up your leaves and I hate people who see you walking and as they drive by they yell something out their window I mean really even if your complimenting me that is the most annoying turn off in the entire world and I hate people who think they are so cool because they have a lot a money or only wear name brands like no one gives a fuck what your wearing and people are going to use you for that money if you flaunt it like that and I hate cocky guys who can't get a girlfriend but they act like your lesser than them and they could get another girl in seconds I mean jerk you be like 3 inches shorter than me and you a lil chubby and your whinny you don't take good care of your dog you've had her for two years and she's still not potty trained I'm going to call animal control on you douche and you are so obsessed with looks that you said when you get married you wouldn't be able so stand a girl without makeup even when your sleeping you want her to wake up earlier than you and get pretty before you see her face like WTF is wrong with you in general I just really really really really hate people

Super exciting week

So I had to go to the ER on Sunday night because I was having serious stomach pains. The pained started around one, but only got really bad around eight. The problem was that the pain was shifting to my lower right side and was getting really severe. We thought that I might have appendicitis and the only place that was open at ten was the hospital. We got there and spent forever trying to figure out what was wrong. I got my first IV and CT scan. I was in so much pain until they gave me morphine. We found out that my bowels were infected and awoken lymph-nodes were causing the pain. The real problem was that I had my first day of school on Monday and couldn't go because I didn't get home till 3 an I was on pain medication. I went to school on Tuesday, but the first and second class had the same lecture so I went home early. I had my first full day of school today and since I really like history it was fine.

Wtf boys

My boyfriend's definition of spending time with me is being at my house. He plays games, is on his phone, is sleeping, or were at the movies and the only way I gat to be with him is if I physically am sitting there next to him amusing myself. He hardly ever listens to me and he doesn't seem to appreciate all the things I do for him. I didn't put gas in my car because I forgot so naturally I asked him to drive me. He got annoyed that he had to drive me to my school which is literally 5 minutes away so that I could go to class. He says he kept telling me to get gas but he only told me twice and that wasn't even during our break times so there was nothing I could have done in that moment. As if he's never forgotten anything before, an as if i wouldn't have driven him if he didn't have gas. He locked his keys in his room and I got ready just to drive there to give him his spare and he can't take a few minutes of his precious time to drop me off to school! He doesn't do homework till the last minute he has plenty of opportunities before then to do it but he crams it all and that's why he has no time. I love him, but damn, I'm sorry that I wanted a few minutes of your time.

Are you for real?

I was pissed off last summer when you sent me away to San Diego with about 50 people that I absolutely hated and now your making me go to mexico. Honestly, the people I can avoid, the sun, sand, and water, I can't. I am already making myself a happier person but on the inside, I'm not doing so great. I finally got to a place where I'm feeling good, loosing weight, dieting, happy, making friends, and all around better that I was senior year and you decide to drag me away from the only thing that's making me happy. For what? To keep me cooped up in a hotel room for a week because I'm afraid of water, hate sand, and get serious rashes not to mention serious burning from the sun. I mean honestly, what compelled you to want to drag me to a place that is not only all those things, but JUST all those things. I honestly feel like I"m alone here. Do you not see how I'm going to suffer. I see how you really care, you're just ignorant at times. Try looking at things through my eyes. I'm no a happy person in a happy place, I'm miserable  and to take me somewhere for a week where I'll hate even more than San Diego, is cruel. It's not that I don't love you or think that you don't love me, it's just that sometimes I think you'd rather throw me under the bus to make you three happy then do one thing to make me happy.

26 going on 4

Who gave you the fucking right to be acting like a four year old? Your 26, your the eldest of the three boys, and you live at home. Mind you this is under your mothers roof and since you don't help her out in any way even though she's loosing  her house, you have to live under her rules. She wanted to get rid of the dog, and we were tired of seeing it being neglected and shoved in the garage for 12 hours a day. We were trying to help her for the better of her health because you didn't have the time to take care of her. You can't be mad at us for doing what your mom asked, and frankly doing the right thing. So what do you do to get over loosing your dog? You don't talk to anyone that's for sure. No. Here's what you do. You disappear for a few days, then lock yourself in your room and change your mother's WiFi password. The worst part is you start taking out your rage on another poor innocent animal. You take my bf's cat and you pour water on her, push her, throw away all her food, shove her food bowl in the kitty litter, throw away all her extra liter, her litter box, her brand new scratching post, and anything else you can find and then you decide that since your huge pitbull that was living in the garage all day had to be sent back to the pound because of neglect that your brother's cat who is well taken care of and well loved and even easier to take care of because cats don't need walks or as much attention as dogs, should now also be taken, not to the pound, but so that you can drop her off on the street somewhere far away. What the hell is wrong with you. How could you possibly think that it's o.k. to take out your anger on animals? I mean really are you four years old? You need to grow the fuck up honestly because your sick. That cat did nothing to you and you have no right to take the anger that you have because of something that your mom and your brother did out on an innocent animal. Also, just to let you know, if I decide to call the cops, as of 1988 in California you can receive up to a 3 year sentence or a $20,000 fine for animal cruelty.